One day at a time

I like the idea of checking in on ourselves at the beginning of the year, re-assessing, figuring out what feels good and what doesn’t work at all. Unfortunately I think everyone including me is in the habit of making a few incredibly sweeping goals aimed at complete transformation and not bothering to think about them again until the end of the next December. 

I only have one of those this year. Stay sober. It is so nice to write the word “stay” instead of the word “get”. 

I am going to do the checking in process not at the end of the year, but at the end of each day, and set one or two little goals for the next day which I know I need. So today, my mood and general sense of restlessness is telling me I need to go for a run. Tomorrow goal: go for a run. 

I’m hoping this will help prevent me from getting in those low-mood funks I am prone to by being mindful of where I’m at mentally, and doing the things I need to do to help myself before it is a big, sticky mess. It’s all part of a self-love process which I know I need but have previously resisted pouring much effort into (mainly due to lack of self love).

Speaking of big messes, I made the mistake of thinking while I was knitting today “I am so happy to have nearly finished this project without having dropped a stitch”.

Hours of unpicked work later, I regretted those words. It was interesting how my brain chose to process this event. My thoughts were: “Oh my God, this is such a bad omen for the year. The first thing I try to do on the first day of 2016 has gone horribly wrong and I am convinced everything else will, too. I might as well give up now and go back to bed”. 

Yes, it is THAT melodramatic inside my head.

Maybe the thing to take away is that I sat there, patiently fixing my work, until it was sorted. I didn’t cry or give up. I did swear a lot but have decided to dump “no swearing” from my list of resolutions indefinitely.

Happy fucking New Year, sober travellers. Thank you. For everything.