Week 8

The highlights:

Falling asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow each night and waking up eight hours later.

Gorgeous almost-Spring weather.

Being inspired by the Olympic gymnastics to start a new back flexibility challenge and noticing results already.

Starting a new knitting project – legwarmers for pole dancing warm ups based on this pair I found on Pinterest.

Getting a much-needed haircut, including a hot towel hair treatment and glorious scalp massage.

 Figuring out how to connect the TV to the Internet so this household can step in to the 21st century.

The mundane:

A lot of work and occasional stress about how to do it all without spending 12 hours a day in the office.

A highly emotional 5-year-old.

The usual never ending  cooking, cleaning, washing cycle.

The weird:

People trying to convince me I didn’t have that much of a drinking problem and that quitting is a significant overreaction. My brother came to visit and I though it would be a good opportunity to speak about it.

Him: But you didn’t have a problem like Dad or so-and -so.

Me: I don’t want to end up with a problem like Dad or so-and-so. I was binge drinking 1 to 2 bottles of wine at least twice a week, drinking more than the recommended amount most other nights and the last time I drank I fell over and gave myself concussion for a week. I would go out intending to have two drinks and wake up the next day with no memory past the sixth drink. I think most reasonable people would call that problematic.

Him: yeah, but you could just cut back.

Me: that’s what I was trying to do when I fell over and knocked myself out. Didn’t seem like a spectacular success.

Another friend has also been questioning whether the quitting is necessary. These conversations aren’t not making me waver, I just figure they come from a place of literally no understanding of what it is to lack control over your alcohol consumption. 

I continue to love not having to try and exercise that control. It has freed up so much space in my life.


15 thoughts on “Week 8

  1. Lots of positives there, well done. The journey belongs to you and you alone. Nobody has the right to tell you what you should or should not be doing regards drinking. I fell off the wagon and am in the process of deciding where I want this road to lead. Bless ya xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Moderation is bullshit. This is SO MUCH EASIER. And bless their hearts, the “can’t you just cut back?” people. I wonder if they would rather us BE drunks yet not acknowledge it rather than BE sober and acknowledge that we were drunks? Oh well, their problem if it is one!
    Excellent 8 weeks for you!!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Clearing space in your life for beautiful legwarmers is wonderful!

    I’ve come to relish the rebelliousness of not conforming to others expecting me to drink. That can certainly mess with other people’s heads! I think you explained it to your brother terrifically well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. These people drive me crazy, I went to meet with friends the other day and mentioned that I wasn’t drinking, they looked at me and nodded, and as I left a few hours later, one said ‘make sure your drinking next time!’ the only person that supports me is my mum, who sees that I have a problem. It’s infuriating isn’t it! Great positives by the way, very inspiring. Have a great day πŸ˜€


  5. Congratulations on 8 weeks!! πŸ˜ƒ It sounds like you’re finding so much good, positive stuff in sobriety. I had a similar conversation with my fella last week – Him: ‘What you’re doing is crazy, alcohol isn’t that bad if you just have one or two’. Me: *sigh*…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yeah. These sorts of attitudes also come from people who themselves have a drinking problem. I also think that human beings in general have a hard time grasping simple things just because they’ve never experienced them, whether it’s insomnia, depression, or -20 degree weather. Even within myself, it’s hard to imagine what it’s like to not be able to sleep if I’ve gone a few years without that problem. Glad it’s just puzzling for you! And yay for you for trying to talk to folks about it πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Sounds like you’re doing great LMJ Keep going – it will get easier – although bumpy and hard at times. I totally relate to your experience of , people near and dear trying to tell you that you should just show some will power – they don’t understand that addiction robs you of your will power and hijacks your decision-making in order to sustain itsekf. There’s almost a collective denial from those that try to tell you don’t really have a problem perhaps because they don’t like the implications of what you’re telling them either because it makes them uncomfortable about their own drinking or because they don’t like to think someone in their family is suffering addiction – or another person in their family is. But LMJ – as you blog insightfully reveals – you know. And you’re already getting a small glimpse that life could/can/will be better without booze in your life. When I get that kind of response – even now two and a half sober years later – I try and explain and then if they don’t get it – I just shrug my shoulders and say internally – well this way is working better for me and for those around me – so I don’t need to justify it to anyone else. One reason I love AA – you walk into a meeting anywhere in the world and people get ‘it’ and you straight away. No need for justification, no judgement – just love, support and understanding. But that’s the way I’ve gone – I hope you have those around you who do understand what you’re going through and love and support you. Stay well and be kind to yourself. Ben

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The longer I’m a sober-girl, the more I realize that alcohol addiction is widely misunderstood…it always floors me that if we quit any other addiction (cigarettes, cocaine, pills)…no one would chase us around asking “what’s wrong with you? Why won’t you just take a few pills?”
    Alcohol is the only addictive carcinogen, for which you get labeled “defective” if you don’t take it…as if our natural state of existence is to have a drink and if we don’t something is wrong.
    Nothing is further from the truth. A life without alcohol, especially for those of us who’ve had a problem controlling it…this sober-life is a gift and a treasure. So glad to see you finding some joy. Stay strong.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Great positive post! I want the leg warmers!

    Almost a year in and still dealing with those kind of conversations, and people so wary of AA and as if that is really the/a problem, rather than me being an alcoholic and how bad that was…
    Still, it’s usually either ignorance or denial and I’m getting better at caring less what and why they think what they do. Man it’s hard, and going through a really tough patch but I won’t give up sobriety for anything. Nope.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You are doing great Sparkly! It’s amazing how a lot of people just don’t get it. They wouldn’t say to a drug addict to just have one or two or to just cut down. Some people feel threatened because it makes them look at their own drinking habits. 8 weeks is awesome. Well done! A x

    Liked by 1 person

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